Alienating the past

My conscience holds me to the ground

Threatening to step on my ‘thought pipe’,

Breaking apart I manage to look around;

Found a thug who spilt blood

And another who cut down trees.

I had departed, but acceptance was hard;

My pen with a broken nib,

The fire break I had cut

Across my imaginative wildfire,

Whole of my beautiful perception

That was sodden and covered in snow.

A scream escaped from the alienation,

I couldn't remember the last time I screamed,

It reverberates around me

The world and its naivety cover its face

And I breathe again,

Wait! There; life is circling back.

tHe moRNinG aFteR a NigHtmAre

When the morning finally came around, with hurried steps and worried mind I walked to the college. For some reason the good morning wishes of the passersby irritated me. Acquainted faces appeared like blurs in my anxiousness to make sure that my subconscious had fooled me. Finding the face among the many faces I rushed over, the face that I loved,the one I had seen covered in blood the previous night. I didn’t know what emotion reflected on my face when I realized that it was just a bad dream that I had. Some sort of relief spreading from my heart into my slackened body. I was searching for the right words to say as I walked knowing that I won’t find any to express how I felt. I heard my sound calling out the name and saw a pair of cold eyes where I expected some warmth; warmth to refuel my frozen mind with a hug. Ever plunged into cold water without a second thought and found your body recoiling and the muscles protesting in agony? Personifying the world, the lil one walked fast, pulling on her hood shadowing her face, clouding my mind. Again into the dream I fall, not the nightmare, but my own world where I believe exist characters with the same lining as me: myself projected in the ways that I define, strolling about keeping me smiling. 

bLind thAt I waS

Blind that I was,

While groping in the dark

Found a figure; a voice,

Her hand was smooth,

Her face wrinkled.

Blind that I was,

Didn’t really know

She had faces many;

What my fingers found

Was what I believed.

Blind that I was,

Didn’t see who she was.

She took my hand

Ran it over my own face-

Then I knew who I was.

Blind that I was,

I asked her for blossoms new,

But never heard her go;

Then heard a poet sing:

“Love - She left me all alone”.


[I see the finer aspects of love.Use my eye, see through me, find it in these lines...]

mUndAne RefLecTion

Wanting to see my ‘self’,

I bought a Mirror

For my new city room;

Didn’t pay in cash,

But in bills of love.

In the old rustic scene

The lake reflected, figures,

Though dancing in the waves,

Vast and deep; true images.

Every single night

Before the lullaby of street lamps

I stood before the Mirror;

I laughed, I cried, I danced.

Noticing stains creeping in,

Distorting my mundane reflection,

Never did the thought rise

A Mirror could crack to its core.

True, it did not crack

But instead it blasted,

And its crude shallowness

Left me all alone

To think of blue, blue lakes.

Mental Suicide

Here I stand on a lonely cliff

looking down upon the waves

crashing onto heavy boulders

in this cold evening

all alone by myself.

My heart like the eve

chilled to the very depth

just an emotion,that rushes like the waves-

loneliness and nothing more.

But now I flashback to the past

my memories speak to my heart,

they bear upon and weigh me down

the thoughts of a loving family.

I take a step more back

away from the hands of darkness,

the mind a swirl of thoughts

of love that I never returned,

decisions taken wrong:of mental suicide.


[This is my first poem.This was from where I started learning to walk through the lines.]

Flooded Planes

At times shining bright

Spreading light and warmth

Upon minds around and self.

People stretching themselves

For a bit of warmth

In the cold cells of life.

Change comes fast and sleek

Billowy clouds appear soon;

Few look up to ask

"What's happened now"?

Days pass with the clouds swirling

Concerned faces expecting drizzle.

Then comes the lashing rain

burning holes on ground and cloud.

But the rain fell on flooded planes,

Apprehensive looks paining me;

A question I ask myself-

"Would flooded grounds ever love rain"?

Bankrupt

Maybe I've turned into a lesser being
with my soul sold to someone,
declared too bankrupt to regain it.
If i ask for it to be returned
and then went wrong in thought
the loss will be forever.

Battle

From childhood i heard
stories of heroes
who won over foes.
For glory was great
my kin urged me too
wanted my name
in history,they said.
Tearful eyes of mother
send me to the battle,
on the way did i meet
a veteran hero,said he
"Stand your ground".
Strengthened by will
prepared to face an army
thought i'll conquer many.

Battlefields in books
told of greater glory,
but none said
they were so gory.
Several masked faces
guarded left and right,
in falsified security
i abandoned my alert.
Heavy blows on sides
taught me better.

I wandered the tall trees
ears cocked at hostile steps
i swung my blade
only to get badly blocked.
Out of the shadows
emerged a prince with halo,
a feeling deep inside
"this blade matches mine".
By unspoken consent
we raided the woods
one guarding other's back.
Together we thrust blades
right through other hearts
and cried in delight
as our blades turned red.

At an unknown clearing
while we fought five foes
swords clashing in din
unfamiliar helpers ran in.
But the prince grew on them,
obsessed with power
they pulled him out safe.
Profited at my unarmoured back
a blue blade slashed open it
and amidst my cries
did they ride away.
History did not look my way
but mystery would vouch for me.

Agony

As a ghost of the past

reflected in the moonlight,

the skeleton i dug up

lay eerie in the courtyard.

The relics of once a being

a king without crown.

With stares did people watch

the star that rose to sky,

to outshine sun,the mighty one

made a dwarf,its light undone.

Kneeling slaves always swear,

the master's eyes unblinking ones.

As they came did riches go

leprosy did make its feed,

like a black hole is to shiny star.

Fleshy tights did rot away and

like a child i could only watch.

This state of things is agony

but am i sane to feel the pain?